The topic of marriage and divorce is not a popular topic by any means because no one wants to be alone, and I can understand that. But truly, we are never alone because we are married to YESHUA, He is our husband and we are the bride. The issue of whether you can remarry after you have gotten divorced is a topic that many disagree on. I have already done a video on this in the 10 commandment series, but I felt it necessary to add a few other things to prayerfully make things clearer. We will discuss whether you can marry another spouse after you are divorced (divorce and remarriage), can you go back to your first husband or wife after you have left the second marriage, engagement/betrothal, and the importance of marital vows.
Marriage is binding as long as your spouse is alive!
Once you are married you have become “one flesh” with your husband or wife, and many believe that just because they got divorced that it dissolves the “one flesh” union of that marriage, and that they are free to marry another spouse.
Malachi 2:14-16
“And you said, “Why”? Because YAHWEH has been witness between you and the WIFE of your youth, against whom you have acted treacherously, though she is your companion and the WIFE OF YOUR COVENANT. And did he not make one? And He had the remnant of the Spirit? And what is the one? He seeks a seed of ELOHIM. So you shall guard your spirit, and let none act treacherously against the wife of his youth. For I HATE DIVORCE,” said YAHWEH ELOHIM of Yisra’el, “and the one who covers his garment with cruelty,” said YAHWEH of hosts.”
Notice how YAHWEH says through Malachi that she is the WIFE OF YOUR COVENANT? This means that marriage is a covenant between you and YAHWEH. And what is expected when a covenant is made?
Hebrews 9:16-17
“For where a COVENANT IS, it is necessary for the DEATH OF THE COVENANTED ONE TO BE ESTABLISHED. For a covenant over those DEAD IS FIRM, since it is never valid while the COVENANTED ONE IS LIVING.”
We know a covenant has been made during a marriage; therefore, this principal can applied here. So in order for a covenant to cease means that there has to be a death, so if you are married to the husband or wife of your covenant that means that you are bound until your spouse dies, because you cannot remarry another while the other spouse is living. Once there is a death you are freed from the Torah to remarry another.
Proverbs 2:17
“Who forsakes the companion of her youth (covenant spouse), and has forgotten the COVENANT of your ELOHIM.”
1 Corinthians 7:10
“And to the married I command, NOT I, but the ADON (YESHUA): a wife SHOULD NOT separate from a husband. But if she is indeed separated, let her remain UNMARRIED or be restored to favor with her husband, and let a husband NOT SEND AWAY A WIFE.”
Paul says this command is from YESHUA and not himself that a wife should not separate from her husband, but if she leaves him then she CANNOT remarry and that a man should NOT divorce his wife. But if she works things out with her husband then she will be restored back to him. You cannot leave the marriage and go marry another person because it literally is “Till death do you part!” Married couples are bound by the Torah as long as their spouse is alive. Further proof of this is in:
1 Corinthians 7:39
“A wife is BOUND by Torah as long as HER HUSBAND LIVES, and if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she desires, only in the ADON.”
I just want to point out that after the husband dies, Paul says marry another only in the Adon YESHUA meaning that they would have to be a believer. As we already know that we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
Romans 7:1-3
“Or do you not know, brothers-for I speak to those knowing the Torah-that the Torah rules over man as long as he lives? For the married woman has been bound by Torah to the LIVING HUSBAND, but if the husband dies, she is released from the Torah of her husband. So then, while her husband lives, she shall be called an adulteress if she becomes another man’s. But if her husband dies, she is free from that Torah, so that she is not an adulteress, having become another man’s.
Sirach 23:22-27
“So it shall also be for the wife that leaves her husband, and brings forth an heir by another. For firstly, she has disobeyed the Law of the Most High (separating/divorcing her husband who is STILL LIVING based off the scriptures above); and secondly, she has trespassed against her own husband; and thirdly, she has committed whoring by ADULTERY, and brought forth children by another man. She shall be brought out in to the assembly, and inquiry shall be made of her children. Her children shall not take root, and her branches shall not bring forth fruit. She shall leave a cursed remembrance, and her reproach shall NOT BE BLOTTED OUT.”
Jubilees 33:15
“And let them not say, “to Rueben was granted life and forgiveness after he had lain with his dad’s concubine, and to her also though she had a husband, and her HUSBAND JACOB, HIS DAD, WAS SILL ALIVE.”
Tobiyah 3:7-8
“It came to be the same day, that in Ahmetha a city of Madai, Sarah the daughter of Raguel was also reproached by her dad’s female servants; because she had been married to seven husbands, whom Ashmedai the evil spirit killed before they had lain with her. “Do you not know,” they said (female servants), “that you have strangled your husbands? You have already had seven husbands, neither were you named after any of them..” verse 17 Raphael was sent to heal them both, that is, to scale away the whiteness of Tobiyah’s eyes and to give Sarah the daughter of Raguel AS A WIFE to Tobi the son of Tobiyah…”
So this woman named Sarah had 7 husbands but all of them died because of an evil spirit and she was able to remarry ONLY after the deaths of her husband’s which released her from the Torah. So she was given to the righteous Tobiyah’s son named Tobi.
There are multiple witnesses showing us that you cannot marry another spouse while your previous husband or wife is still living. To put this in perspective, if someone got divorced four times while their spouse was still living, you are still married to your first wife in the eyes of YAHWEH and living in active adultery. If this is you, please repent because this is a serious issue.
1 Corinthians 6:9
“Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the reign of ELOHIM? Do not be deceived. Neither those who whore, nor idolaters, nor ADULTERERS, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals…”
What about Deuteronomy 24?
I know that there are many quote this scripture to justify divorce and remarriage, but let’s take a look at the scripture to see what it says.
Deuteronomy 24:1-5
“When a man takes a wife and shall marry her, then it shall be, if she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found a MATTER OF SHAMEFULNESS in her, and he shall write her a certificate of divorce, and put it in her hand and send her out of his house, and IF she left his house and went and became another man’s wife, and the latter husband shall hate her and write her a certificate of divorce, and put it in her hand and send her out of the house, or when the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled, for that would be an abomination before YAHWEH.”
Many translations say that after the man has put the certificate of divorce in her hand that “she may go and marry another man” but the correct translation as written in HalleYAH Scriptures and the Septuagint is “IF” she married another man when she left his house. She was never given permission to marry another man because that would completely contradict the fact that you are NOT ALLOWED to marry anyone else why your husband or wife is still ALIVE. The “IF” is critical to understanding that she chose to disobey the commandment of YAHWEH by remaining unmarried, but chose to marry another man which is why she cannot go back to the first husband because she has been defiled through adultery.
YESHUA’S words on divorce
YESHUA is the Written Word that became Living Flesh, He is the Living Torah and magnified the Law. And we know that in John 12:49 YESHUA says “Because I spoke not from Myself, but the Father who sent Me has given Me a Command, what I should say and what I should speak.” So, He is speaking the Words of YAHWEH and cleared up any misunderstandings we may have had on the topic of divorce from YAHWEH Himself spoken by His Son. Firstly, a man will leave his dad and mother and cling to his wife and the two shall become ONE flesh. So they are supposed to be one spiritually, one family, and love each other as their own being.
Genesis 2:23
“And the man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. This one is called ‘woman’, because she was taken out of man.” For this cause a man shall leave his dad and mom, and join unto his wife, and they shall become one flesh.’
Mathew 19:5-6
“For this cause a man shall leave his dad and mother and join unto his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what ELOHIM has joined together, let man not separate.
Marriage is supposed to be a holy union between man and woman as they have made a vow before YAHWEH. They are to be ONE flesh, which is why YESHUA says LET NO MAN (court judges too) separate what ELOHIM has joined together. Couples will go to a church to get married making a vow before ELOHIM, then run to the courts of man to divorce them for any reason. The courts do not uphold the law of YAHWEH. YESHUA said "have you not read..?" He was saying that they should have already known the answer to that question if they had only read about it in Genesis. YESHUA points out that the plan for YAHWEH between man and woman is to be one flesh from the very beginning.
Mathew 5:31-32 (Parenthesis mine)
“And it has been said, ‘Whoever puts away his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that whoever puts away (divorces) his wife, except for the matter of whoring makes her commit adultery. AND (in addition to) whoever marries a woman who has been put away commits adultery.”
YESHUA says that whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery. This means that the new man (third party) who marries the divorced woman commits adultery, why? Because he has married someone that does not legally belong to him, she is still married to her first husband in the eyes of YESHUA and that union is still intact, which shows us that divorce and remarriage is adultery. Her husband is still alive and therefore they are still “One flesh” through the marriage. If you do divorce your spouse because of adultery then you are still to remain UNMARRIED! YESHUA doesn’t grant the innocent member of the marriage the rights to marry someone else just because the other spouse did the cheating. “Till death do you part” is a literally thing for both the husband and wife.
. YESHUA is saying Mathew 19:7-9
“They said to Him, “Why then did Moses COMMAND to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away? He said to them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts, Moses ALLOWED you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever puts away his wife, EXCEPT on the grounds of whoring, and marries another commits adultery. And whoever marries her who has been put away commits adultery.’
Mark 10:11-12 (Parenthesis mine)
“And He said to them, “Whoever puts away his wife and marries another commits adultery against HER (The first covenant wife, because he is still married to her). And if a woman puts away her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
I wanted to note that sexual immorality is one of definitions included in the Greek word “Porneia” #G4202 and sexual immorality includes adultery. The concordance has several definitions for Porneia, but I want focus on the definition that says plainly “SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH A DIVORCED MAN OR WOMAN” and the concordance references this scripture from Mark. Which is exactly what YESHUA was saying in all of these scriptures, that he who divorces his wife and marries another commits porneia (adultery) because that are having sexual relations with a divorced man or woman.
Luke 16:18
“Everyone divorcing his wife and marrying another commits adultery. And everyone marrying her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.”
It’s interesting to note that the accounts of Mark and Luke both do NOT mention “except for whoring or fornication.” Their accounts both say who ever divorces their wife and marries another commits adultery.
Never does YESHUA say that you can remarry another spouse! He is saying that you can divorce her due to her marital unfaithfulness which I believe is during the engagement/betrothal stage which we will be discussing a little later. Regardless if YESHUA is referring to engagement or the consummated marriage He never gives an allowance of remarriage to another. YESHUA clearly says that anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. If you divorce her due to her unfaithfulness and you both remain unmarried then you can reconcile and come back to each other. ELOHIM still doesn’t want to see divorce at all, so do what you can to reconcile the marriage and do not marry another by defiling yourselves. Look at the wording the Pharisees used, they said Moses commanded! Then YESHUA said “allowed” meaning tolerated or put up with it due to the hardness of men’s hearts.
Mathew 19:10
“His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is good not to marry.” And He said to them, “NOT ALL RECEIVE THIS WORD, but only those to whom it has been given…”
YESHUA’s teaching on divorce was so difficult to accept that even His disciples couldn’t handle it, they thought it was better not to get married. YESHUA’s teaching, Who was only speaking the words of His Father YAHWEH, went against everything they thought was true, which is what is happening today. YESHUA says that “not all will receive the message” and this holds true to this very day. YESHUA was pointing mankind back to the model of Adam and Eve being “one flesh.”
YAHWEH gave us the perfect example!
YAHWEH married Yisra’el at Sinai and exchanged vows in Exodus 19:5-6:
“And now, if you diligently obey My voice, and shall guard My Covenant, then you shall be My treasured possession above all the peoples-for all the earth is Mine-and you shall be to Me a reign of priests and a holy nation.’ Those are the words which you are to speak to the children of Yisra’el.”
Jeremiah 31:33
“Not like the Covenant I made with their fathers in the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, My Covenant which they broke, though I was a HUSBAND to them,” declares YAHWEH.”
Notice in verse 32 YAHWEH says He was a “Husband”? Therefore, Yisra’el was His wife! But due to their unfaithfulness to YAHWEH He divorced them in:
Jeremiah 3:7-8
“And after she had done all these, I said ‘Return to Me.’ But she did not return. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it. And I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Yisra’el had committed ADULTERY, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not reverence, but went and committed whoring too.”
Even in verse 7 she (Yisra’el) was unfaithful to Him (YAHWEH) by committing adultery and He did not immediately divorce her, but told her to “come back to Me”. That is love beyond comprehension and not responding with the “hardness of heart”. YAHWEH gave her a chance and was willing to forgive the unfaithful act; but humans are less forgiving and immediately seek a divorce. Humans see unfaithfulness and are ready to divorce, because they feel betrayed and rightly so, nobody wants to be cheated on because you wonder if you could ever trust that person again.
Even though YAHWEH was angry with Yisra’el He showed love despite her adultery and wanted to reconcile with her, but when He saw that Yisra’el continued in rebellion and would not turn back then He wrote her a certificate of divorce and she continued with her many lovers and Judah saw it and did worse than Yisra’el.
YAHWEH gave us the perfect example of what He expects in Genesis that two become one flesh and YESHUA restated it. YAHWEH illustrated how Yisra’el his wife was unfaithful to Him and He divorces her but NEVER married anyone else. He did not choose another wife or chosen people, YAHWEH could have replaced Yisra’el with the Philistines as His wife/chosen people but He did not. He remained unmarried, meaning that Yisra’el was always His chosen people/wife. He chose to die through His Son YESHUA becoming a “New Man” and then He went back to THE SAME BRIDE which is Yisra’el and not a new bride or new people. YAHWEH never gave up on His bride and through YESHUA this established the Renewed Covenant where He becomes our High Priest, our Mediator, and The Holy Spirit poured out so that we can keep His commandments and do them.
This is the key because most people will divorce their spouse and marry someone NEW, YAHWEH divorced Yisra’el His wife and went back to her,what better example can there be but following in the footsteps of the Creator Himself?
We read that the spouses of the marriage are bound by the Torah as long as the other spouse is LIVING even after divorce! So our ELOHIM took it up Himself by sending His Son YESHUA to die releasing Him from the Torah and becoming a New Man so He could remarry Yisra’el. It was “until death do you part” in His eyes and by doing this He would not violate His own word.
Can you go back to your first husband or wife after you married another?
Deuteronomy 24:1-5
“When a man takes a wife and shall marry her, then it shall be, if she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found a MATTER OF SHAMEFULNESS in her, and he shall write her a certificate of divorce, and put it in her hand and send her out of his house, and IF she left his house and went and became another man’s wife, and the latter husband shall hate her and write her a certificate of divorce, and put it in her hand and send her out of the house, or when the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled, for that would be an abomination before YAHWEH.”
Another thing that is important to mention is that may translations say that after the man has put the certificate of divorce in her hand that “she may go and marry another man” but the correct translation is “IF” she married another man. She was never given permission to marry another man because that would completely contradict the fact that you are NOT ALLOWED to marry anyone else why your husband or wife is still ALIVE as we discussed in the introduction.
Jeremiah 3:1-3
“If a man puts away his wife, and she goes from him and becomes another man’s does he return to her again? Would not that land be made greatly unclean? But you have committed whoring with many lovers. And would you return to Me? declares YAHWEH.”
Notice the first thing that YAHWEH says in verse 1? If a man puts away his wife, and she goes from him and becomes another man’s does he return to her again? YAHWEH is clearly stating that you cannot marry someone else and then come back to your first spouse because that would be an abomination just as He states in Deuteronomy 24, He would not violate on His own Torah.
The matter of shamefulness would be adultery for all the reasons we mentioned above because it is “Until death do you part.” As we see from the letter of Paul to Corinth; and in Romans is that a woman is to remained UNMARRIED, unless she finds favor with her husband again. That way if they work things out while they are separated then they can REJOIN without being defiled and committing adultery.
However, we know that most people will begin having sexual relations while being SEPARATED which means that they are committing adultery; or if they get divorced they will marry someone else while their spouse is still living and it makes them commit adultery, why? Because they are still married to their first husband or wife in the eyes of YAHWEH!
As we read in Deuteronomy 24 the woman after being divorced from her first husband married another man, although she is bound by the Torah as long as her husband lives which made her an adulteress. This is why she cannot go back to her first husband because she has been DEFILED through adultery, and if that first husband took her back then he commits adultery and this is an abomination to YAHWEH! Remember one of the definition of Porneia is sexual relations with a divorced man or woman and that is exactly what happened in this scripture.
Wasn’t Joseph about to divorce Mary?
Deuteronomy 22:23
“When a girl who is a virgin is ENGAGED TO HER HUSBAND, and a man finds her in the city and lies with her…”
YAHWEH shows us that when you are engaged you are still technically married; and this is the example that we see with Joseph and Mary.
Mathew 1:18-20
“And the birth of YESHUA ha’Mashiach was as follows: After His mother Mary was engaged to Joseph, BEFORE THEY CAME TOGETHER (sexually), she was found to be pregnant from the Ruach ha’Kodesh (Holy Spirit). And Joseph her husband being righteous, and not wanting to make a show of her, had in mind to put her away secretly. But while he thought about this, see, a messenger (angel) of YAHWEH appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for that which is in her was brought forth from the Holy Spirit.”
As we see, Joseph was engaged to Mary, yet he was still called her husband. This shows that times have changed in our modern day society versus what the Bible says. Engagements are not taken as seriously in our Western society as they were in Biblical times; and we see unfaithfulness was the reason Joseph thought about putting away his engaged wife during the betrothal/engagement stage. I personally believe that if Joseph and Mary had the wedding and consummated the marriage then it would be until death do you part. This seems to make the most sense when we revisit the words of YESHUA in Mathew 19:7-9 which is the only example we are really given in the New Testament.
Mathew 19:7-9
“They said to Him, “Why then did Moses COMMAND to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away? He said to them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts, Moses ALLOWED you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever puts away his wife, EXCEPT on the grounds of whoring (betrothal), and marries another commits adultery. And whoever marries her who has been put away commits adultery.’
Engagement/betrothed
As explained earlier Joseph and Mary were betrothed, meaning they were pledged to be married meaning they were engaged to each other, even though they had not yet lived together as husband and wife. In Hebrew culture the steps of betrothal involved two families in a formal contract, and that contract was as binding as marriage itself. Some would say it was almost like a business transaction that included the “dowry” which is the bride price, which would be repaid IF the engagement was broken (Which is what would have happened with Joseph and Mary). After the betrothal stage was the wedding celebration, the bridge moves in to the house with the groom, and the consummation of the marriage. Consummation means (to finish, to bring to completion of fruition; to conclude, achieve, or fulfill) meaning that the marriage is now official. This is completely different then how the world views marriages and engagements today.
So, Joseph was going to divorce is engaged wife Mary DURING the engagement process and not after they had consummated the marriage and made it official. And I believe this makes the most sense regarding divorcing a wife due to adultery when we read the verses.
Marital Vows
One of the things I did not mention in the video the last time is “vows” and it was laid on my heart to share the importance of vows. When a man and woman are getting married don’t they exchange “Wedding Vows” saying “Till death do you part?” We all know the answer to this is yes. So this means that you had made a vow between you, your spouse, and our Father YAHWEH which is why YESHUA said “What ELOHIM has brought together let man NOT separate.” So being that you have exchanged a wedding vow before YAHWEH does He expect you to uphold that vow? I did a video on vows but I’ll list the scriptures as it pertains any vow that we make.
Ecclesiastes 5:4-6
“When you make a VOW to ELOHIM, do not delay to pay it, for He takes no pleasure in fools. Pay that which you have VOWED. It is better not to vow than to vow and not pay. Do not all your mouth to cause your flesh to sin, nor say before the messenger of ELOHIM that it was a mistake. Why should ELOHIM be wroth at your voice and destroy the work of your hands?
Deuteronomy 23:21-23
“When you make a vow to YAHWEH your ELOHIM, do not delay to pay it, for YAHWEH your ELOHIM is certainly requiring it of you, and it shall be sin in you. BUT WHEN YOU ABSTAIN FROM VOWING, IT IS NOT SIN IN YOU (As YESHUA said don’t swear falsely at all) That which has gone from your lips you shall guard and do, for you VOLUNTARILY vowed to YAHWEH your ELOHIM what you have promised with your mouth.”
A good example of this is found in Judges with a man named Yiphtah, who made a vow. Some people read this and thing YAHWEH is unjust without understanding the two scriptures that we just read above.
Judges 11:30-36
“And Yiphtah MADE A VOW to YAHWEH, and said, “if you give the children of Ammon into my hands, then it shall be that whatever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall belong to YAHWEH, and I shall offer it up as a burnt offering.” Yiphtah then passed on toward the children of Ammon to fight against them, and YAHWEH gave them into his hands. And he smote them from Aro’er as for as minnith, twenty cities, and Abel Keramim, with a very great smiting. Thus the children of Ammon were humbled before the children of Yisra’el. And Yiphtah came to his house at Mitspah, and saw his daughter coming out to meet him with timbrels and dancing. Now except for her he had neither son nor daughter. And it came to be, when he saw her, that he tore his garments, and said, “Oh my daughter! You have brought me very low, and you are among those who trouble me! And I, I have given my word to YAHWEH, and I am unable to turn back. And she said to him, “My dad, if you have given your word to YAHWEH, do to me according what has gone out of your mouth, because YAHWEH has taken vengeance for you upon your enemies, the children of Ammon.”
As we see Yiphtah voluntarily offered from his own mouth this vow, YAHWEH did not command him to do it and even though his daughter walked out of the house, his only daughter he had to offer her up. Many believers today would look for an excuse to get out of the situation and act like they never made the vow. Yiphtah and his daughter knew that he had to perform what he spoke.
Psalms 66:13-14
“I enter Your house with burnt offerings; I COMPLETE MY VOWS TO YOU, THAT WHICH MY LIPS HAVE UTTERED AND MY MOUTH SPOKE IN DISTRESS.”
Genesis 28:20-23
“And Jacob made a VOW, saying, “Seeing ELOHIM is with me, and has kept me in this way that I am going, and has given me bread to eat and a garment to put on-when I have returned to my dad’s house in peace, and YAHWEH shall be my ELOHIM, then this stone which I have placed as a standing column shall be ELOHIM’s house, and of all that You give me, I shall certainly give a tenth to You.”
Jubilees 31:26-29
“And in the morning Jacob told his dad Isaac the VOW which he had vowed to YAHWEH, and the vision which he had seen, and that he had built an altar, and that everything was ready for the slaughtering to be made before YAHWEH as he had vowed, and that he had come to set him on a donkey.” And Isaac said to Jacob his son, “I am not able to go with you for I am old and not able to bear the way. Go in peace, my son. For I am one hundred and sixty-five years this day. I am no longer able to journey; set your mother on a donkey and let her go with you. And I k now, my son, that you have come because of me, and may this day be blessed on which you have seen me alive, and I also have seen you, my son. May you prosper and FULFIL the VOW which you vowed; AND DO NOT PUT OFF YOUR VOW; for you will be called in account for the vow. Now therefore hurry to perform it, and may He be pleased who has made all things, to whom you vowed the vow.”
As we can see a vow is not something to take lightly at all and YAHWEH expects us to fulfill the words that we have spoken. Therefore, if you have made a wedding vow to your spouse saying “Until death do you part” then it is “until death do you part.”
As always, I pray this has been helpful and shed some light on a difficult topic. May our Father YAHWEH bless you in YESHUA’s Name.